FACE CONTROL

I landed in Moscow after a 10 hour train trip which wasn’t to bad as I fell asleep pretty much all the way. Nothing random to report on the train, This time I opted for the dorm carriage which has about 50 beds in it. Its not a bad way to travel but it did smell in the morning of sweaty feet (most likely they were my minging hobbits feet) God only knows what it would smell like after 6 days to Beijing.

Getting off the train I walked to the hostel which was a couple of miles away. Moscow is a little different to St Petersburg in that it doesn’t have any road signs in English so finding your way round using the Lonely Planet maps is pretty useless. After my very impressive map reading skills (a lot of guess work) I found the hostel straight away. I was only staying here for two night as it was fully booked out for the rest of the week. The Hostel was really nice and I met loads of really great people however on the 1st night there I had to share a dorm with a Russian family, Mum, dad, Babushka (grandma), Granddad and 3 very annoying little shits that ran around the hostel at 7am screaming the place down to the delights of all the people that had only got in 1 hour before from clubbing. The other great moment I had with the family from hell was when I walked in to the dorm and Mr Russian was sitting on his bed completely naked eating with the family. He was like a cross between Homer Simpson and a grizzly bear (ooo he was a hairy man). I now have that image burnt in to my brain and it has scared me for the rest of my life.

A few of us from the hostel went out to sample Moscow’s nightlife. The were eight of us all together, 4 top Irish guys, 1 German, 1 American and a Canadian girl. The only problem going out in Moscow is that it is impossible to get pass the bouncers. There is a strange thing over here called ‘Face Control’, basically if your not good looking or can’t tip the bouncer 1000 Rouble (£20) you are not getting in. The bouncers come out with the same stories, its either closing soon or its a private party. After 4 different bars/clubs we managed to get in to one called Goodbye Babushka. Was it worth all the hassle? Not really cos the fucker then fleeced us £7 each for a beer as we tourists. So we left there and bought a bottle of vodka (£2) and drank it back at the hostel which turned out to be a great laugh.

Moscow is a fascinating city and I’m really enjoying my time here, I’ve seen some amazing sights, taking a tour around the Kremlin which looks like the baddies hide out in a James Bond movie.

On the side of the Kremlin is the jaw dropping Red Square, which isn’t square or red for that matter. Russia’s main landmark, the crazy St Basil’s church is at one end of the square and just looks like it should be in Disney World with its crazy onion roofs and mad colours, I think it has to be one of the coolest looking buildings in the world.

In the centre of red square is Lenin’s tomb which I have yet to see as its been closed off all week as they have been setting up a massive stage for Russians Independence day more on that later.

Update, its now Thursday and Lenin’s tomb was open. Was it worth the two hour queue? Well to be honest I’m not sure. It has to be the weirdest things I have ever seen in my life. Once you have dropped off your bags, cameras, phone, heck everything you own (They might as well have taken off all my clothes the security was so tight) you are aloud to enter the tomb. The tomb is black marble which makes it impossible to see more than a meter in front of you. You wind down some stairs passing numerous somber looking guards and you finally enter the main chamber where Lenin is laying……stuffed…… OK he isn’t stuffed but preserved in paraffin wax and lives in a glass box. The only light in the tomb is on Lenin and its giving his skin a kinda weird Dale Winton shade of orange, you could almost be in madam Tussuad’s. As you pass him you exit the tomb and in to the statue ‘hall of fame’ where there are many status of past soviet leaders. It had to be one of the weirdest things I have ever seen! Talk about going to La la land. Well worth a look, if not just to snigger at Lenin’s tan!

I love walking around this city as there is so much to see, with all of the crazy soviet statues and monuments. There certainly wasn’t any expensive spared building them. Some of the most fascinating things to see are out in the suburbs like ‘VDNK’ which has been a highlight of Russia so far. The VDNK is a park that was built in Soviet time to show off the might of the communism machine. The building each represent a different part of soviet life such as Industry, farming, family, space, army etc.

Its a fascinating way of stepping back in time and getting a sense of what they were trying to achieve with Communism. The park is a bit tatty and isn’t very maintained which gives it such an eerie run down feeling. It’s a shame they don’t have the money to preserves such an unusual and fascinating place. Well worth a visit if you come to Moscow.

I had to move hostels as the one I booked up had ran out of space for the week. The hostel is called Yellow blue bus which translated to Russian means ‘I love you’ aww isn’t that sweet. Anyway, I met up with two top lads from the UK who were also staying at the hostel. We decided we would go down to Red Square and celebrate with the Russians there Independence Day. After necking a bottle of £2 vodka we headed down there to be confronted by a 1000s of police surrounding Red Square. It turns out its a ticket only event. After trying to blag it passed the guards with the ‘My hostel is over there’ trick (It got us through two check points) we had to give up. Earlier in the day I had seen them setting up a stage in the VDNK so we decided to give it ago. Armed with cans of Hooch, yes they still sell Hooch, but this isn’t any old Hooch this is Super Hooch which is 9%, in fact most alchopops seem to be that strength over here. Once again we had to blag it passed a police man to get in to the park.
After 10 minutes of jabbering away in English to him he finally gave in and let us passed.

Once we were in we were confronted by a stage with a dj and dancers banging out noisy gum bleeding techno for the rest of the night. Much fun was had dancing around with all the crazy Russian and it was the 1st time I had seen so many Russians smile and that’s no joke!

In all, Moscow is a cracking place to visit, I can’t put my finger on it, maybe it reminds me of London…..An edger London with more concrete and Larders. It must be one of the best cities I’ve been too in my life.

Tomorrow I leave Moscow. The next stop is Yekaterinburg, this is my first stop on my Trans-Siberian adventure. I must book a hotel at some point, and I get in at 1am, expect random stories.

3 Responses to “FACE CONTROL”

1. hannah says:

   June 14, 2007 at 8:25 pm

   Yellow shirt guy is cute.. I’ve got the weekend off.. if i can get myself a visa i’ll be over in a shot! :p

   I’m jealous of all your travelling malarky! SO JEALOUS!!!!

   Can i request no more pictures of your manky feet please?
2. Ellie says:

   June 15, 2007 at 1:16 pm

   Hear hear hannah!! (about the feet, not about the yellow-shirt-guy, well….just kidding sam!)

   wow, Moscow looks and sounds amazing! those buildings are MAD!! looking forward to the next posting!!! good luck with finding accommodation babes! really hope you get something!!
3. Russell says:

   June 16, 2007 at 3:41 am

   Dude, I was gunna go over to Moscow last week to see my girlfriend but didn’t in the end. I should have given u her number and she could hav met up with you…although, she hates Moscow so probably would’t have been the best person to show you around :D Nevermind, goodluck with the rest of the trip…looking forward to the next blog :)