Welcome to the Crazy World!

On arrival to UB (its what everyone calls Ulan-Bator, darling) i was greeted by hugs and smiles from the owners of the guest house which will be my home for the next month ‘The Golden Gobi’. After getting settled in to my dorm I met my fellow Trans-Mongolian passengers
Richard and Mel a couple from the UK and Canada. the 1st nice Canadian i have met on my travels.

Emma from London reminded me of a female Shortman, loud bubbly and very funny.
Virgina from LA, I’ve decided that people from California are the nicest people in the US. I’ve met so many laid back people on my travels from there. How the world would be a different place if George Bush was from there.

We decided to organise a 5 day mini trip to central Mongolia so we could all be back in time for the Naadam festival.
A day later we met our very sweet guide Bolor and our driver Holor.
Day 1.
After about 60km west of UB the road turns in to tracks only fit for 4×4. Of courses this doesn’t stop the average Mongolian from driving a normal two wheel drive car crammed full of people and luggage down them. The life expectancy of a car in Mongolia must be very short indeed.
After half a day getting a Mongolian massage by bumping and crashing around in the car we finally made it to Elsen tasarkhai national park where we were met by our host Nomadic family. Once inside the Ger the Mongolian tradition for greeting people is to sit down and sip tea made from which animal the family is herding, in this case it was goat. now the tea isn’t like your PG Tips, it has a salty earthy taste to it with a hint of goat shit in there as well. Saying this it was rather pleasant…… unlike the fresh curd which is rather bad, it looks like shortbread (which I thought it was at first) but tastes of sour milk. I couldn’t finish mine so I quietly slipped mine in to my pocket and disposed of it outside.

Now the place we were at is named the Mini Gobi, why? yep you guessed it, its a small desert. This also gave me a taste of my first sand storm, when the wind picks up over the dunes you can the sand cloud in the distance and then 30 seconds later, pow! it hits you like you have been rubbed by a giant piece of sand paper. At this point we made a hasty retreat in to our Ger. I was still picking sand out of my arse days later. After the sand storm had died down it was time for an explore of the area. No sooner had I been out for 10 minutes I was kidnapped by a bunch of camel herders which took me back to the Ger to pick up the rest of the group. It was such a laugh and not too uncomfortable riding around on the back of this beast….. unlike riding a horse which i did a few days later when we took a long drive to the another national park called Tsutgalan. It took such a long time to get there but it was well worth it. A valley surround by 1000 meter mountains and a small meandering river running down the middle of it. After dinner we were treated to a Mongolian throat singing concert from the cousin of the family we stayed with. It was interesting music to say the least as he played the traditional Mongolian harp and the horse fiddle whilst gurgling his throat in to all manner of sounds. It wouldn’t sound half out of place on a Bjork album.

The next day was the one I was dreading…… horse riding! Sam on a horse, it sounds the most ridicules thing in the world but it really did happen. My horse which I named Nobby seemed a bit frisky and didn’t want to cooperate with any of my commands….. not that I had a clue how to ‘drive’ the dam thing. I climbed on to Nobby and the rest of the group climbed on to their horses. We were off…… all in completely different directions as no one had a clue what to do. After our guide rounded us up we were off again to see the waterfall, i say waterfall but really it was more of a trickle as further up the river miners have dammed the river because Mongolia is experience a gold rush at the moment. Which is a great shame these money hungry companies are ripping up this beautiful land.

I must say being on a horse isn’t as half a scary as i thought it would be. I really enjoyed the 3 hours riding around so I’m hoping to do it again on another tour, i felt like a cowboy (Not one out of Broke Back Mountain, Kenney before you say it!).

After the horse riding I was chilling around my Ger when a Dutch guy came up to me started talking about my camera. It turns out he was a photographer take photos of Nomads for a book he has out in 2010. He had a bit of a major problem, his driver had been drunk for 3 days and was refusing to take him plus 3 others to Karakorum which was our next destination. Que……. the driver stumbling out of a Ger with a bottle vodka in his hand being chased around the camp by an angry dog which was getting more angrier ever time he throw something at it. If you could speed him up it would be like the end sketch in the Benny Hill show, it was a very funny thing to watch in a sad way.

The next day 11 of us squeeze in to our mini van. On the way it was great to talk geek with the photographer about cameras. Just to tease me he pulled out his Xpan which is a camera i really want, he also showed me some of his work which was very beautiful. He had been to Russia to meet the Reindeer People and Kazakhstan to photograph the Eagle hunters who i would love to meet one day.

We made it to Karakorum which is Mongolians old capital before Stalin and his boys moved it to UB. The city (village) is made up of the only surviving original Buddhist temple (all the others got burnt down by the Communist Regine) which is surrounded by wooden houses which gives it a South African township feel to the place. The Mongolian people want to move the capital back to Karakorum but realistically I doubt it will ever happen.
The last couple of days was spent at Hustai national park which is 45km outside UB. We were taken here to view the Taki horse. This is the Mongolian wild horse which in the 1900s was nearly extincted due to the Kazak people hunting them for there meat (those crazy Borat people will eat just about anything). There were just 15 left in the world in the 1970s but now they have got the numbers up to well over 400. To me they look like a horse with stubbier stripey legs. Our guide told us they are very different to a regular horse but i have forgotten why. Something about its skin changes colour in the winter, but I’m not sure I’ve could have made that up in my twisted mind. It sounds like black magic if it does happen.

So being in Mongolia you can’t help but try the local food, with my new catch phase ‘Yeah, well……….. it’s alright’ which i would say after trying something new. So here is a list of animal and parts I’ve eaten so far. Vegetarians stop reading now.

HORSE
Meat – very nice indeed, tastes like beef
Tea with horse milk – very salty, very earthy
Arake (fermented horse milk) – alcoholic (5%) has a acidic taste to it. Not very pleasant

GOAT
Pretty much every part i have eaten now including Stomach, Neck, liver, penis (no balls, the family had eaten them already)

MARMOT
The small beaver type creature taste great, it has a real gamy taste to it. Yum!

SHEEP
A sheep is a sheep where ever you are in the world. Very generic!

YAK
Meat, was pretty good. Again tastes like beef
Yak Cream, This was the most amazing thing i have tried. Slap this rich and very thick cream on top of some freshly cooked homemade bread, topped with wild mini strawberries and you have one of the worlds best sandwiches. 9 out of 10.

Next stop, the Naadam festival. See you there.

3 Responses to “Welcome to the Crazy World!”

1. Stuart William says:

   August 1, 2007 at 3:21 pm

   The photographer geek-talk sounds like hell on earth! The dog shouldve eaten the photographer, not the drunk driver! *:-D
2. Oliver Shortman says:

   August 3, 2007 at 4:21 pm

   Another very entertaining blog fella. “Emma from London” sounds hot! ;-)

   To be honest, I was mildly impressed with you eating a Scorpion, but you’re in China mate. It’d of been more of a challenge to have seen you eat 4 spicy hotwings from Chicken Cottage in Clapham South. What you wanna concentrate on is trying to find a monkey’s brain to chow down on. I bet you could get one out there. Apparently you have to eat it just after they’ve scalped the monkey because it goes off pretty quick & it tastes of rice pudding! Bon appetit!
3. Oliver Shortman says:

   August 3, 2007 at 4:27 pm

   PS Tiger Penis is meant to be another popular delicacy out there. It’s meant to be like organic viagra. May as well have a blast if you get the chance!